Desire to finish DOG

I’ve added a new blog category – desires – specific objectives and rehearsed feelings. My motivations deserve more screen time generally, so now it’s got it’s own category.

Ok, revelation. I’ve stalled on exploring my feelings about the finish of DOG. Everything’s all sorted and set up, but I haven’t actually started. That must mean we are on the verge of cracking open some uncomfortable material. In a way, it’s exciting. I may be about to make a deep discovery. I thought the visualization history was rock bottom, but the root goes deeper. Yikes. I admit to feeling unsettled and a little sad. What now? How messed up am I?

March of the skeletons, let’s open the closet.

Why do I want to get DOG done?

•  frustrated with being in process
•  lame to be working on one short for 6 years. The sooner it’s over the better
•  please DOG, not 7 years
•  I can dedicate myself to the next project, using all the lessons I learned on DOG
•  new actors, wider network, more resources, better planning
•  accepted into festivals, touring, community
•  accomplishment
•  folks will laugh and enjoy
•  open awareness
•  quirky humor escapes into the world
•  insight into world affairs through the secret stories emerging over time
•  techniques toolbox
•  credibility as a filmmaker
•  end of self critique – pariah, poser
•  original actors and crew finally have closure
•  VFX team established
•  many intriguing ideas for new projects
•  remake DOG properly with larger budget, and more experience – maybe eg Raimi’s ED and ED2
•  some aspects of DOG are genius – realized
•  get laid more often, bliss sharing, true love
•  increase confidence
•  wider crowd of gifted collaborators
•  enable folks with integrity to flourish through future collaboration
•  wield influence to change brains and steward wilds
•  leaving this project unfinished is a bad precedent
•  released from bondage
•  start on a feature with a track record
•  lots of great memories
•  the making of DOG – drugs, illegal immigration and terrorism
•  there’s been so much effort so far, aside from this blog and ‘experience’ there will be a tangible result
•  demonstrate restraint in scope of work, work within limits (time) and am able to wrap my first (major) film
•  comfortable reaching out to collaborators
•  clear workspace, possibilities
•  get laid

from history

Daughter of God is a vehicle for piercing the veil

2.2.2 never the same movie twice, linear i ching

2.1.3 success

2.1.3.1 accepted 3 oscar qualifying festivals 2011

2.1.3.2 awards / recognition for innovation/experimental, visual impact/effects, story

2.1.3.3 vehicle for future funding, collaboration, career

2.1.3.4 500,000 views in first 6 months after release

2.1.3.5 favorable reviews and appreciation by relevant players

2.1.3.6 spanish or chinese subtitle versions

I can strive to be fully alive. That’s what this art thing is all about, the art of life.

awakened human beings enjoying an experience of themselves as stewards of the spaceship and adventurers in the cosmos

What’s the point of making movies? To transform awareness. Our spaceship is in danger, we’ve got to bust a move.

r and d

what if there were b-roll custom built from scratch that took the moment to another level?

What does memory look like? What do thoughts look like? What is the magic ingredient that makes reality real?

create a visual and audio style or environment that tells us we are in thought space, a bridging mode, the spine of the narrative

turbocharged vignette that serves up an emotional cocktail to nuance the next moment… If we think of xroll as the spine of the narrative… contrasts to b-roll in that it’s central as opposed to peripheral

mistakes are what I’ve got in spades and they are the basis for most everything I don’t suck at

documenting and sharing via blogs

a tool to clarify and plan projects

sharing my process so that others can benefit from my mistakes and triumphs – that’s sort of open source and creative commons ethic

When I can consistently articulate what’s happening, I feel more efficient

Public really means available to my clan. Let’s face it, most of the folks who are willing to wade through this dross already know me

Why don’t I want to get DOG done?

•  DOG may turn out to be mediocre despite my best efforts. After 6 years of effort, having a mediocre short will be pretty embarrassing. If DOG is eternally in process I won’t have to face failure.
•  social life, getting outside, road trips, small projects and quick hits of intensity, collaboration
•  lots of logistics will kick in – legal and promotion – that have nothing to do with images and moments
•  what if I can’t ever get it finished? working to finish it is futile
•  there are better projects I can focus on, that’s why I initiated ALM.
•  DOG is just good money/time after bad
•  a lot of work for just a short
•  nobody cares except me
•  loose friends

history

The answer can be found in tai chi – balance. It’s no good to stare at screens only, I’ve got to have a life.

•••

Ok, that’s the first wave circa 12/4/11. I may continue to add, but I’m ready to try the next step, which is to tease out the feelings associated with each reason to finish or not to finish. Ha, there’s a step I skipped, maybe.  It’s now 12/6/11, I had to back up and re-establish an ultimate hierarchy of the feelings I most and least want to  experience. After identifying DOG done / not done feelings, I would then map them to my hierarchy to see if they move me towards or away from my ultimate life. This will surely crack the scenario wide, and we’ll be able to make some serious omelettes. Stay tuned, still to do…

Why do I want to get DOG done?
What might happen to me then?
How will that make me feel?
Am I ok having these feelings?

Is there anything I rather do than get DOG done?
What might happen to me then?
How does that make me feel?
Am I ok having these feelings?

What goals have I achieved?
How does that make me feel?

What has distracted me?
How does that make me feel?

What is my consistent practice?
How does that make me feel?