The plan is to revise the DOG script based around existing live action and VFX elements, adding new elements only when absolutely needed. It’s faster to rewrite than it is to edit. Unfortunately, Final Draft doesn’t have a very robust annotation feature, so I’m going to make production and post notes on a different document, using scene numbers for precise reference.
“It’s one thing to have great ideas, it’s another to have great ideas about how to realize great ideas.” Shri Shri Fugi Spilt.
X = ADD TO INVENTORY
X = PROBLEM?
X = TECH NOTE
X = POSSIBLE DELETION
X = TESTED AND SOLVED
X = RATIONALE
[We’re queuing up lots of VFX, is that making it simpler or more complicated? Just saying]
[To develop a comprehensive finishing inventory, we need shot to shot detail for 13. and 19.]
1. INT. DARK, IMPRESSION OF RUST
[UNCLE JOE checks loose ends and makes a move. Bicycle? His hideout must be within a 10 miles of ship]
[Introduces all the characters, establishes the world post apocalypse]
[What’s established with the first two images, the first edit? The round hole of the black tunnel and the round object of the rock – yin and yang, emptiness yields form. Oval vault frame presages the shape of the rock, wall holds hole, hands open into rock]
[EDIT-multiple angles montage works for still life apocalypse shots, perhaps tunnel approach too?]
[VFX-Tunnel far shot starts with deer or cow skeleton… then people in masks and protective suits]
[VFX – stone (prop) hand and interface composite, shoot right and left hand separately?]
[VFX – thumb changes views]
[VFX – skeletons – arrange outside with fatigues, or hazmat suits]
[VFX – outside, hazard sign? broken tinted glass, other]
[VFX – stone and hand, interface design]
[VFX – tunnel detail]
[VFX – sign for nuclear waste – no soliciting]
[INTERIOR – could have done two exposures in the fan room for HDR effect, as long as UNCLE JOE wasn’t in front of windows]
[VFX – is an outside shot of the tunnel needed? CUT TO: either Joe standing OR black rock CU and hand – SOLVED]
[CONTINUITY – UNCLE JOE, stone/phone is in right hand]
[UNCLE JOE sees CHRISTINA in the future, next scene is technically a flashback – ok?]
[Other ICONS, will we see what they do? what do the mean?]
2. EXT. MONTAGE OF POST APOCALYPTIC SCENES [TEST]
[STATIC = spore of global communication post collapse, the threads which string the various hovels and refugee settlements together. This is what travel sounds like and via the theater of the mind, looks like. The magic carpet that gets us (audience) around]
[Are scenes in groups? Are groups locations or themes – water, snow, transportation? STATIC between groups]
[need Rationale for selections and sequence]
[INVENTORY – organize everything available for sound and visuals]
[SOUND – split voices between opening and changing sequence]
[SOUND – best shortwave montage for start]
[VFX – Empire on it’s side? Laying across submerged buildings, angled up a bit]
[VFX – Empire and Chysler skyline submerged]
[VFX – Empire from two angles, perhaps the big lake it’s a silhouette and from the boat it’s side lit?]
[VFX – deer and arrow]
[VFX – new version of cruise]
[VFX – cars – big beaver exit 69 sign]
[CC between stream, shoreline and big waves/empire]
[After flitting around the planet, we return to our main location, this is where the story unfolds. Shift from shortwave travel to RL, full sound]
[Visual transition for shortwave tuning – what’s it look like? image squashing and breaking into bits, being pulled off the frame like taffy and tugging a new scene on? What does static look like, the opposite of Sergey’s foley job – download and post.]
3. TITLES – DAUGHTER OF GOD
[Simple titles imply a humble VFX-free movie – we’re not trying to be snazzy – VFX is sublimated]
4. INT. CHRISTINA’S CHAIR IN HER CABIN – DAY
5. INT. BEDROOM, ABOUT 20 YEARS EARLIER
[New production scheduled and shot]
[Gwen? When?]
[VFX-Christina tripping]
[Christina tripping, Uncle Joe as a dragon, a wizard, the devil, what? Hypnotic suggestion taking hold? Buried triggers?]
6. INT. CHRISTINA’S CABIN – PRESENT
[sparkles and bits of smoke linger in the air around her as she sit’s in reverie]
7. VFX, CU SURVEILLANCE VIEW OF CHRISTINA’S CHAIR, UNCLE JOE POV FROM HALL TO CABIN DOOR. UNCLE JOE’S AUDIO IS CLEAR, NOT STATIC-Y
[New production scheduled and shot – stone]
[VFX-stone with interface and background, subtitles, etc.]
8. INT. CHRISTINA’S CHAIR IN HER CABIN
9. INT. CU ON TWO HANDS CLASPED – ONE A CHILDS, ANOTHER OLD AND WRINKLED.
[New production scheduled and shot, voice recording]
[VO – great to do it when Dan is recovering from a cold. How did Jimmy Stewart manage it for Mr Smith?]
10. EXT. GRAVEYARD
[New production scheduled and shot]
11. INT. CHRISTINA’S CABIN DOOR FROM HALL
[VFX – roto to fix blown out window]
12. INT. HALL FROM CHRISTINA’S CABIN
[VFX – roto for red hall, dead bird poster]
13. INT. CHRISTINA’S CABIN
[VFX – window scratch, etc.]
a.
b.
c.
14. INT. CHRISTINA’S CABIN – EVENING
[VFX – roto boxes]
15. INT. HALLWAY OUT SIDE OF GERRY’S CABIN – EVENING
[VFX – red hallway]
16. INT. GERRY’S APARTMENT
17. INT. GERRY’S DOORWAY FROM HALL
[VFX – red hallway]
18. INT. HALLWAY FROM GERRY’S DOORWAY
[VFX – red hallway]
19. INT. GERRY’S CABIN TOWARDS DOOR
[VFX – lots of boxes]
a.
b.
c.
20. CREDITS ROLL, MUSIC
21. VFX. SURVEILLANCE GERRY’S BED
[VFX – surveillance]
22. CREDITS ROLL, MUSIC
23. INT. SPOOK’S OFFICE
24. VFX. SURVEILLANCE SPOOK’S OFFICE – UNCLE JOE IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION
[VFX – surveillance]
25. CREDITS, MUSIC
26. EXT. VARIOUS IMPROVED SHELTERS
[Doesn’t have visual symmetry with the beginning of movie. What if Joe were standing outside the boat, just before the call?]
[Jonathan says the shelters need more signs of life, eg flickering light in the cabin window, clothesline outside the caboose, cave – “Stay away, dangerass (misspelled) MUTANT <(added later, above) bear cave”] Read as currently occupied.]
25. CREDITS, END
Surveillance = Joe is a spook. Paradigm to allow for subtitles and magic remote viewing, action at a distance, etc. Joe sees all, but only GOD (audience) sees what Joe is up to.
Apocalypse = civilization has fallen. Nature reclaims, evidence of extreme circumstance, all manner of disaster and tribulation
Shortwave = new paradigm of communication, things are different, archaic technology resurrected after solar EMP, old style, vintage, WWII.
Theme song = sitcom, elaborate further on the backstory, other broadcast
Creaks and squeaks = friction, resistance, the end of oil, creepy, folks like to hear evidence of their own existence, low tech security, kooky, spooky, haunted, ghosts, archeology
Breaking glass = gerry, shattered, clumsy, presence of christina, broken heart, fragile, labware, science, maker
Dead birds = plague, Gerry doesn’t care, danger, immune, already infected
Office = more spooks, shadow government continues, Joe is scary, penis joke, languages, joe isn’t dead, he’s a spook
Boxes = hoarding, there was some central authority or super rich dude who prepared, mediatronics (diamond age), backstory, surprising technology
Dress up = personalities, seduction, backstory and she becomes the different voices, this is her dream
Many mothers = Joe’s agenda is deeper than we thought
Playful relationship = between J and C. They act out scenarios, pretending, imagination. It’s a world of magicians, secrets, spies, fairy tales and the supernatural.
World building – elements repeat
* office guys – penis joke + joe out of the office for days
* shortwave – apocalypse world tour, phones, changing sequence
* boxes in several scenes
* this is your uncle joe – c’s cabin and end
* glass breaking (loose?)
* creaking doors, drawers
* dead birds – sign in hall and j’s cabin
* chinese animal signs – c and g cabin (loose c)
* surveillance – beginning (office guys, c, g) and end (c and g in bed, office guys)
* Project Melchior – Joe says my name is Melchior and then we see project Melchior on folder
Mystery – is Joe really an angel from heaven, a resurrected dead uncle or is he just a man deploying advanced technology and deep planning? The interaction between C and G is the meat, but J is the context. I’m dealing now with a crucial refinement of the project – am i just setting up a weird, random short or an I convey slightly more of the story, can I activate a sense of mystery? Offer enough information without spilling all the beans, hitting the audience over the head.
First image and first edit – a horror occluding a wonder, taoism, stone lion or real lion
Tunnel approach – a dead deer in the foreground and perhaps brown deerlike mounds in the distance. First impression, there’s a dead deer by the side of a highway. Closer, dead soldiers in brownish jumpsuits, nuke waste warning, battle. Tunnel sucking the audience in. The tunnel black fades (cuts) to the patterns of the black rock, and then the concrete and gates fades (cuts) into the hand. Perhaps there is also a tighter tunnel shot before cut to black rock and hand. The tunnel shape matches the rock obviously, getting the rock’s outline as close as we can to begin with.
Tunnel shots, far then close and jump to the rock in the hand – 3 frame animation.
Then the rock turns into a tunnel, there’s something hidden within it. Polish the stone to see inside – like a crystal ball. Then cut to Joe. establish him and his mysterious nature, establish the location. The round hole of the black tunnel and the round object of the rock – yin and yang, emptiness yields form.
Subterfuge, camoflage – dead cows and skeletons outside of Uncle Joe’s lair? Merely window dressings, they are nasty and forbidding certainly but they are old news. They are probably very convincing replica corpses, designed to provide decades of decoy fun. Inside the complex are very efficient needle lasers to take out the illiterate or truly starving, those who can’t or won’t buy the scary scenario presented outside. It’s a mystery, wrapped up in an enigma etc.
We see the subterfuge and camouflage presented at Joe’s lair, at the Alexander Henry and later at the mutant bear cave. Varying degrees of sophistication with providing false facades. So that’s a good pattern and set of three.
Technology colonizes everything
Her laptop is actually a what – watermelon? a bit of plywood? a purse? the redling R purse. he sticks a DVD into it. What is she holding? a high heel? (get smart) a floppy something or other. a stuffed animal? Technology has colonized the everyday, like in the singularity. with the laptop and her phone, we have another set of three. Also the office guys have a phone, maybe that’s a stack of money. That’s work tho, maybe they could have regular phones. ha! maybe… making the phone match would be like visual ADR, re-enacting the motions of the actors.